Witless Wednesday: Snow Swimming!

"F" is for FAG (the sort you smoke)

Yes, I smoke. I am a pariah. Everyone hates me. I must go outdoors in the cold. My landlord forbids it. No employer will have me smoking on their property. My cat stares at me in disgust. My friends fear for my life. My Doctor wants to disown me.

It is a filthy, filthy, filthy habit, they all tell me. I point to legends such as Yul Brenner, John Wayne, Katherine Hepburn, Roger Miller, David Niven, on and on, and they yell

"SEE! the Weed got ALL of them!"

I sigh, and roll one more smoke.

(Thanks be to Gail Slaughter for this old ad!)

a little personal complaint

When I'm hard at work like this, I get screwy. I find it hard to concentrate. I lose all sense of time and space. People around me all seem to lose their perspective. Why can't they see I'm a hardworking son-of-a-gun? I need elbow room! Well, they aren't going to get to ME! I'm going to forge ahead, damn the torpedoes! Somebody has to take the bull by the horns, or NOTHING will get done!

Oh, it will take sacrifice, I know that. But as God is my Witness, I shall PREVAIL!