At our home in Detroit, Michigan, at 7:45 PM last night, there was a mad scramble to get the computers down and the lights off and locate candles, oil lamps and matches. I was afraid we wouldn't make it, but we did! YAY! We could see three other houses from our front windows that were dark, so we decided to walk around the block and count dark and light houses. On our immediate block, there were 111 electrically lit houses and only 17 that were dark, and some of those were abandoned (empty, for sale) and I am sure on a Saturday night, some people were just out partying. There was a row of six houses all dark on the next block over, but we had agreed only to count our block. BB thinks maybe 5% of the people complied. He thinks most people didn't even know about it. I was really disappointed.
PB complained bitterly the whole time and kept wanting to turn the light on and if I used the indiglo on my watch to let him know how long he had to wait, he called me a hypocrite. He refused to do anything but sit there and complain for a full hour. BB told PB we were "doing it for Mama." Not for the earth or the environment, but for me. In other words, they wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't insisted. Very sad. I am sad, hope your report is better.
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label technology. Show all posts
30 March 2008
24 March 2008
The Rancher and the Dude
A Rancher was a-leanin' on a fence when a big ol' Lexus roared up in a cloud o' dust an' stopped. Out jumped a guy in a suit with a "lectronical sumpthin" in his han'. This Dude came up ta th' Rancher an' pointed out over th' field:
"Sir," he said, "I've got a proposition for you."
The Rancher chewed and spat. "Oh?" he said.
"Yessiree," the young man replied. "I'll make a bet with you."
The Rancher squinted. "Bet?" he said.
"Yessir!" said the tenderfoot. "I have in my hand the latest technology. Something every farmer and rancher in this valley wants and needs!"
The Rancher chewed and spat again. "Oh?" he said.
"YES!" exclaimed the eager hotshot. "It's a technological marvel, and if it doesn't do what I claim, I'll give you a thousand dollars in cash. But if it does, you'll just owe me one gallon of milk from one of your cows out there. Does that sound like a good bet to you?"
The Rancher looked the feller in the eye. "Sure," he said.
"I'll bet you I can count all the cows in your field and give you an exact number in less than ten seconds, without moving from the spot we're standing. OK?"
The Rancher scratched his head. "Sure," he finally agreed. "It's a bet."
With that the young whippersnapper whipped out his cell phone, uplinked through a mainserver, interrogated the latest satellite data, downloaded the result, pressed a button to perform an onboard calculation, and saw a figure appear on his cell phone screen.
"You sir," smiled the young salesman, "have exactly 373 cows!"
The Rancher chewed and frowned and scratched and spat.
"Son," he drawled, "at first I thought you was with the Gover-ment. You barged in here with somethin' I don't need, uninvited-like, put out money like it was water tryin' to prove you was on my side, took a foolish gamble, weren't able to do squat without yer damn fool technology, tried to tell me somethin' I already knew, and winded up gettin' screwed on the whole proposition."
The young man groaned. "But wasn't I right?"
The Rancher shook his head. "No, son," he said. "Them's my sheep."
"Sir," he said, "I've got a proposition for you."
The Rancher chewed and spat. "Oh?" he said.
"Yessiree," the young man replied. "I'll make a bet with you."
The Rancher squinted. "Bet?" he said.
"Yessir!" said the tenderfoot. "I have in my hand the latest technology. Something every farmer and rancher in this valley wants and needs!"
The Rancher chewed and spat again. "Oh?" he said.
"YES!" exclaimed the eager hotshot. "It's a technological marvel, and if it doesn't do what I claim, I'll give you a thousand dollars in cash. But if it does, you'll just owe me one gallon of milk from one of your cows out there. Does that sound like a good bet to you?"
The Rancher looked the feller in the eye. "Sure," he said.
"I'll bet you I can count all the cows in your field and give you an exact number in less than ten seconds, without moving from the spot we're standing. OK?"
The Rancher scratched his head. "Sure," he finally agreed. "It's a bet."
With that the young whippersnapper whipped out his cell phone, uplinked through a mainserver, interrogated the latest satellite data, downloaded the result, pressed a button to perform an onboard calculation, and saw a figure appear on his cell phone screen.
"You sir," smiled the young salesman, "have exactly 373 cows!"
The Rancher chewed and frowned and scratched and spat.
"Son," he drawled, "at first I thought you was with the Gover-ment. You barged in here with somethin' I don't need, uninvited-like, put out money like it was water tryin' to prove you was on my side, took a foolish gamble, weren't able to do squat without yer damn fool technology, tried to tell me somethin' I already knew, and winded up gettin' screwed on the whole proposition."
The young man groaned. "But wasn't I right?"
The Rancher shook his head. "No, son," he said. "Them's my sheep."
22 March 2008
13 March 2008
07 March 2008
Verifuni Dafinations
Gail Slaughter sent these in:
INTAXICATION: Tax refund euphoria (until you realize it was your money to start with).
REINTARNATION: When you die and come back as a hillbilly.
BOZONE: The substance around idiots which prevents the penetration of bright ideas.
FOREPLOY: Strategy for picking up a partner in a bar.
CASHTRATION: Buying a house and being rendered financially impotent. Indefinitely.
GIRAFFITI: Vandalism, spray-painted very, very high.
SARCHASM: The gulf between sarcastic wit and the goof who just doesn't get it.
INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously.
HIPATITIS: Being terminally cool.
OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate's disease. (Think about it awhile: you'll get it)
KARMAGEDDON: It's like, you know, like all these dudes are sending out all these negative vibes, man, right? And then like the earth explodes!
DECAFALON: Getting through the day without that afternoon coffee break.
GLIBIDO: All talk, no action.
DOPELER EFFECT: Stupid ideas seeming smarter if they come at you fast enough.
ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT: What you throw when you catch a spider web in the face.
BEELZEBUG: That satanic mosquito that gets in your tent and won't be cast out.
CATERPALLOR: The color you turn when you find HALF a worm in your apple.
IGNORANUS: A person both stupid and a real pain in your rear!
(source: Washington Post, Mensa Invitational)
Can you pick the winner that year?
Give your best guessed guest guess in a comment!
INTAXICATION: Tax refund euphoria (until you realize it was your money to start with).
REINTARNATION: When you die and come back as a hillbilly.
BOZONE: The substance around idiots which prevents the penetration of bright ideas.
FOREPLOY: Strategy for picking up a partner in a bar.
CASHTRATION: Buying a house and being rendered financially impotent. Indefinitely.
GIRAFFITI: Vandalism, spray-painted very, very high.
SARCHASM: The gulf between sarcastic wit and the goof who just doesn't get it.
INOCULATTE: To take coffee intravenously.
HIPATITIS: Being terminally cool.
OSTEOPORNOSIS: A degenerate's disease. (Think about it awhile: you'll get it)
KARMAGEDDON: It's like, you know, like all these dudes are sending out all these negative vibes, man, right? And then like the earth explodes!
DECAFALON: Getting through the day without that afternoon coffee break.
GLIBIDO: All talk, no action.
DOPELER EFFECT: Stupid ideas seeming smarter if they come at you fast enough.
ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT: What you throw when you catch a spider web in the face.
BEELZEBUG: That satanic mosquito that gets in your tent and won't be cast out.
CATERPALLOR: The color you turn when you find HALF a worm in your apple.
IGNORANUS: A person both stupid and a real pain in your rear!
(source: Washington Post, Mensa Invitational)
Can you pick the winner that year?
Give your best guessed guest guess in a comment!
17 February 2008
"The Road to Happiness at Henry Ford"
04 February 2008
"Communication"
Our world is really marvelous today. Alexander Graham Bell, interested mainly in developing a device to help the deaf, pioneered a field which today stretches worldwide and reaches into every corner of our lives. Think what this means... by satellite we can speak, send text and images, converse with another person in a different language, monitor a heartbeat or ekg on the other side of the globe. And so much more... so much more...
Thank you Al... you did good work!
Photo: Mike Serafin
Thank you Al... you did good work!
Photo: Mike Serafin
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