1) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger---then it hit me.
2) Police were called to a daycare center where an unruly child was resisting a rest.
3) Did you hear about the guy whose entire left side was cut off by a buzzsaw? He's all right now.
4) The roundest knight at King Arthur's table was Sir Cumference.
5) Trying to write with a dull pencil is pointless.
6) When fish are in schools they often take debate.
7) Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from prison? Now she's a short medium at large.
8) A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
9) And the one who fell into wet cement? He's now a hardened criminal.
10) The math Professor went crazy at the blackboard... he really did a number on it.
11) When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.